Are you proud of yourself?

Are you proud of yourself? ——
(1/3) “A psychiatrist told me that I’ve gone through a lifetime of trauma in a short 6 years. So I’m proud of overcoming that, along with abuse, and neglect. When I can, I try to share about destigmatizing PTSD because that’s one thing I’ve been overcoming; It’s a day to day thing. I was raised around toxicity. It got to the point where I was scared to live in a positive environment, because when you’re raised around so much negativity, it can harm you. You’re so guarded all the time and think you’re going to get betrayed, hurt, or manipulated in return. In my ex, I saw that he was the behaviour that I knew I needed to change. The behaviour we were exhibiting was unhealthy. It was a repeated cycle of toxicity. But without him, I wouldn’t love myself as much as I do today. That’s when I found out who I was on a soul level. I’m not stuck in addiction, escapism and being a toxic person. Because I have to admit, I was a toxic person. But I’m trying my best to heal from that. A lot of people don’t want to heal themselves. And that’s like my father, he’s stuck being a toxic person. I don’t want to be like that. I have to break the cycle. When I look back at everything I’ve gone through, I’m proud of myself for going through those things. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today.

The change in me happened because I saw what a positive environment could look like. I got out of my comfort zone, pushed myself past my limits and got myself out of bed on my bad days. Just doing that routine and coming home. I started living a better life. I’ve had people tell me I have a good head on my shoulders, that I’m a wise soul and old soul. When people tell you that, you’ve got to take a step back. It really doesn’t hit you until then. It’s moments like those where I’m proud of the strength I have and the warrior-like symbology that I try to be on a day to day basis. Especially with people who have gone through similar things as me or people who may not be going through something as severe as I have, but maybe I can share my strength with them. Because we never really know what people go through on a day to day basis. My friend Tia passed away in November 2018 in a tragic car accident. Being a witch, I helped cleanse her soul from that area. I am wearing her sweater right now that she gave me. I’m proud of myself for helping her and being part of that ritual. I’ve always been drawn to helping spirits. I’m finally finding myself with a path that I’ve been born to be on. I felt everything with that accident. I have this symbol I wear with me every time I go drinking, as a reminder to ask myself, ‘What choices are you going to make?’ Because she made the wrong one and it ended her life. I don’t want to make that same mistake and I know she wouldn’t’ want me to either.

It’s up to me now, to be a role model in the community. I need to share that strength with other people. There are earth angels,light workers, and healers. Those people have gone through very similar experiences. It’s up to us to share that strength. When someone doesn’t know how to change themselves, I would recommend self-reflection. I try to do that as much as I can. Really look at yourself with an unbiased opinion and say: “Who am I?” And that’s without your job and title. It’s who you are on a soul level. A soul level as in asking, ‘What characteristics do I have? Who was I yesterday? Who am I today? Who do I want to be tomorrow?’. You gotta ask yourself these real questions and break out of your comfort zone to get to the level of love and pride. At the end of the day, what are you doing with those feelings to help the world around you? Even after this, I still have so much improvement that I have to do, I’m not perfect and never will be. But you can start being a healthier person, just with one simple question. These are all the things I’m proud to have gone through, without my struggle I would have never found my strength”