What has been your biggest lesson so far?
“I was born in Russia. My family is really great and I’ve been supported since child hood. I'm from a very small region. You never meet any foreigners there. Right now, I can’t believe that I’m married to a person from a different culture. Everyone, including my ancestors have lived there for many generations. I’m still surprised that I’m in Canada. People don’t talk about it there. everyone lives there for generations and generations. I finished my university there. My first degree was in linguistics so teaching english and french, completely unrealated to what I’m doing right now. After university back home, I got a scholarship to Memphis and I taught Russian out there. I loved it. Coming from such a small place, I wasn't used to different cultures. But after that, my thoughts and my whole perspective changed. I wasn’t the same person anymore. They're very conservative back home, so I started having some clash of values there. So I was thinking, maybe I should study abroad. I should change something in my life. I was 23 when I came back from the states. I did a lot of work in environment and volunteered a lot in Memphis. When I came back, I got an offer for a job to be a united nations project manager. I couldn’t believe it. But at the same time, I fell in love. He lived hours away from me, but It was my first big love and I really wanted kids. I had so many mixed feelings. I didn’t know what to do, I was thinking it was a lot of responsibility. They were convincing me. But I rejected it. It started bothering me a lot. I remember even just a couple of hours after I rejected it, I was sitting in the washroom for 2 hours. I was thinking, “What am I doing seriously? It’s like the best offer I can get in my life”. After a couple of days I was walked by the place where the job was supposed to be. and I stood there under the rain for 2 hours just feeling completely miserable and hopeless. For years I was feeling that I missed the best opportunity of my life. I want to work in this field of environment and I will never get chances like this anymore. That relationship didn’t work and I was such a mess, feeling depressed and feeling miserable. For a year I was feeling completely hopeless and miserable. When that person left, he left forever to his town in Belarus. I was in so much shock my mom had to take me to the hospital because I was crying for 3 days.”
“At some point I started finding some kind of strength in myself to make some changes in my life. First I decided to apply for university in Russia and start a masters degree. I found a university, it was something in international environmental politics and administration and the city was 17 hours away from my city by bus. So I went there for a couple of weeks. I couldn’t find a job so I worked at my hometown every week. I went there on Thursdays, and every Thursday I took a bus for 17 hours to study for the weekend. I did this for half a year. I didn’t like the quality of education there so I decided to change something. So I found this bachelors degree through the University of Arctic in Norway. I studied about the Arctic, indigenous people, the economy, the land and environment. After a couple of years, it was going somewhere but I wasn’t going anywhere. I’m still stuck there and I’m not working in the field I wanted. I was just trying to volunteer and still didn’t believe that i will ever get accepted to a masters degree. So I decided to come to Canada. I found a person again, I got engaged and I decided to come to Canada.”
“At that time, he completed his masters degree in Canada. I knew him from the States, he was one of my best friends there. I remember when I was sending my application to the University of Manitoba, I was crying at night. I was thinking ‘They’re gonna look at my application and they’re gonna laugh at me. Some person from some kind of northern country. She doesn’t have much experience. She doesn’t have an actual bachelors degree in this field’ I thought I would never be able to get into the program. But I got accepted and I started at the U of M. But that relationship also didn’t work. I was going through a very hard period. I didn’t really have any money at that point. I wasn’t sure if i could continue. That winter was very very tough. Itwas 2013-2014, so it was the coldest winter here. Once we broke up, I had to urgently move out of the apartment. I slept at the university, it was the winter break. I didn’t have a place to go. I didn’t even have proper shoes.I was standing at the bus stop and it was -40. I was feeling like I couldn’t continue anymore. That was my main reason to come to Canada, I wanted to study but at the same time, it’s not going to work. I was feeling so lost and thought maybe I should go home. I was standing at that bus stop literally crying from cold. Even though I came from Russia, I was just not properly dressed at that point.”
“I didn’t have too much money to continue, and I didn’t know if I could continue with my studies and pay for my next semester. The semester started and I was still debating how to pay for it. I talked to someone from the university, she wasn’t even my friend, but for some reason I just decided to just talk to her and share my story. She went up to my supervisor and she said “Valeria is in this situation and she needs help, she doesn’t know if she can continue” He just wanted me to continue and he found some additional funding. Even though I had 4 jobs before coming here for a year. I was so determined but I just didn’t expect so many expenses in the beginning. I continued, I went to my first fieldwork and it was very successful that year. The second year I got a scholarship from the Manitoba government and I was doing very well. I finally completed my masters and pretty much immediately found a job in Kenora, Ontario. I was thinking that my dreams are starting to come true. I was thinking ‘Everything is going well again in my professional life, but what about my personal life?”
“I met him in March 2017. Our friends wanted to introduce us. My friends knew my story about how many years I wanted to have a family and have kids with a happy life. Even though my story isn’t about relationships, I always wanted it in the first place. They wanted to introduce us and I was thinking, ‘Oh it’s not going to work, like seriously’. They didnt tell us any details. The first day they wanted to introduce us, they had to drive to Kenora because I lived there. I remember I brought this beautiful dress. And that day, a horrible story happened. His friend was shot in Columbia and so he didn’t come. I didn’t know that happened, so I was angry. The next week there was a salsa party at the university. We were introduced there. After a week, he drove all the way to Kenora to suprise me. And now, we're married and we’re having a family.”
“You should forgive yourself. i always thought, if you lose your chance, thats the last chance. right now im looking at those jobs and thought I was totally ready. But now im actually ready. i have a degree and a lot more experience. I feel more sure of myself. At the same time, i have my family who will be with me and support me. My husband told me if I find a job abroad one day, he will go with me. I know that he will support me. He always tell me, ‘If you have some professional dreams, lets go ahead and let’s do it’. It doesn’t have to be sacrifice. There shouldn’t be any choice, there should be compromise. At that point at the bus stop, I was feeling so hopeless and lost. Things change in life so fast and you don’t expect it. It can come from misery to complete happiness. Of course threre’s challenges all the time, but things change. I’m very proud of myself for staying in Canada. At that moment, I was seriously thinking to leave and give up. I was feeling uncomfortable in Canada at that point. I didnt have much friends and I was feeling discouraged. But I made the right decision because I still followed my dreams, despite everything. Living in a different country, it’s a challenging thing because I really love it here and I’m completely happy about my life. But sometimes when I talk to close people at home, I feel there’s something shrinking inside me. It’s hard to completely separate yourself from that. Especially when everyone is there and they’re having weddings and celebrations. But I don’t have any doubts, I know I’m on the right path. Life can change in such an unbelievable way.”
